Language Arts Assignment by Jacob

This cracked me up.  

Jacob always complains about not being able to write or put his feelings down, but I think he's lying.

What do you think?

"Let me just say that I don't use quotes ever. I don't have the time, memory, or effort to put one to use in my life. The quote I chose was new to me, but I really liked it, so I decided to use it for this project. “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”. I live this quote. I will get the facts, then forget the details, and then make those up in my mind, and that's how they stay until I forget that version of it. Usually the information I give is totally skewed from the original, and the person who is on the receiving end of my blunt lies either knows it, or they are going to be getting into some sort of terrible flame-spewing argument about it. My facts change people without me knowing it. You and I both know how words spread like viruses. I have probably indirectly caused a couple of divorces somewhere in the vast world of fact communications. I sure hope not, because if people did some serious digging and found me as the spark of these accidental lies, I would have no better excuse then “I'm sorry, my brain was on vacation when I gave that information.” Hm, that rhymed. So if you start hearing people talk about how glowworms secrete liquid nitrogen or how Justin Bieber and Michael Jackson are closely related, then it might have spawned from me. Just an FYI. :)"